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whipping   
05:53pm 04/05/2006
  May 28th -

Vaz
Elders
TBA

The Note somethin-somethin Milwaukee ave, Chicago

== === ===

June 7th -

Elders
Hundreds
TBA

The Mutiny (you know where)

++++++

John and Joan Cusack came in to Dick Blick today. i was so close to them that i could have slapped them in the face. a two-fer, three stooges style.

_____

a guy came to the northside last weekend wearing a hat that said

"I HEART SUCKING CLIT"

and a teeshirt that said

"I EAT MORE PUSSY THAN CERVICAL CANCER"

i kicked him out post haste, because i know it would make everyone (specially Emily A.) happy. what a freak. who has that kind of attitude? "this shirt will make me seem so outrageous that all kinds of girls will flock to my nut zone".

asshole.

_____

BRICK LAYER CAKE is my new favorite band. todd trainer rules!pfbbth
 
     

3 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
this is what i look like.   
05:05pm 05/09/2005
  my beard sez 'love meeee!'


Ethan and The Widowmaker. live at the mutiny - 9/3/05
 
     

18 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
gimme some of that ogee-bogie.   
01:37pm 02/08/2005
  MESSAGE TO KIRK MICK-MAN:
alright, Kirk. you win. i'm officially hooked on Gastr Del Sol. i went to visit with Johnny Bluejeans at the cupcake factory that he's renovating. i drank a bunch of schlitz and meandered across the street to reckless. where i blew fifty bucks on David Grubbs, Gastr, Sun City Girls, and Labradford. you'd be proud. yeah... you be proud. me be broke. me be emotionally effete, defeat. 3peat.

- - - - - - -
MESSAGE TO THOSE RESIDING IN THE COUNTY OF COOK, CITY OF CHICAGO:
if you people have nothing to do on wednesday, you should go to the Subterranean. my friends and yours, The Crude are playing their farewell show, and the littlest hippy, Brendan "Windancer" O'handley has promised all an epic drum solo as his bon sois to the world of percussion. please come, it'll be grand.

- - - - - - - - - - -
PRAYER TO GOD:
To the one true God above here is my prayer -
not the first you've heard, but the first I wrote.
(not the first, but the others were a long time ago). There are two people here, and I want you to kill them.
- -------------------------
SHORT: this happened in Outer Space-

the capsule-
"...pre-thermal, i think. i heard she has a blast furnace for a vagina" - Dave

"you've got a real funny way of putting things, Dave" - Danny

"yeah. blast furnace fer a Vadge. weird hahah" - Ace

"what can i say, i have weird mind, man" - Dave

"..." - Danny

"SOOO...either way. i'm gonna ask her out during the next lunar cycle" - Dave

"dude, nice" - Ace


- - - - - - - - -
naptime.
 
     

4 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
hoorah.   
11:57am 03/05/2005
  Mcsweeneys.net published my teensy weensy little short thing in todays lists portion of the website.

feel free to peruse at http://mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/3NickPyle.html
 
     

19 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
shit magnet   
04:19pm 18/02/2005
  last night, after practice, i was sitting in my reading chair and Jeff was sleeping on my lap and he must have been having some insanely great dream because at one point he rolled onto his back and stuck his paws into the air and made big circular motions with his paws while making this crazy burbling noise. i think the dream involved him swimming in a pool of the liquid that the food chunks float in in his canned food.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
What do you wish your neighborhood was called: Hell's Cloister
- - - - - - -
last time a drunk man verbally abused you and Spencer: two weekends ago

drunk - "why won't you let me in??!! fatty fat guy?!"

nick - "your'e too drunk, sir. take a hike"

drunk - "they shouldn't let you in, cuz yer fat. and this guy does coke (points at random person walking past)"

nick - "unh huh. keep moving"

drunk - "where're you from?"

nick - "the north suburbs"

drunk - "i hate jews! you're a jew!"

spencer - "hahaha"

drunk - "(points at spencer) SHUT UP, MEXICAN!"

nick - "hahahaha!"

drunk - "i'm gonna spit on you!" (spits, misses and runs across the street as fast as he can)
- - - -- - -

a haiku session

HAIKU'S ARE SO DUMB
SWATHED IN YETI FUR, SO SOFT
DOG VERSUS DOG, SPLASH

I TOLD MY MOTHER
MY BOLOGNA HAS A NAME
THAT NAME IS DARKNESS

I'M AFLAME WITH LUST
DIE, WINNIPEG,DIE DIE DIE!
RED LIKE A BABBOON'S

SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH, NICK MAN
SPLASH NICK SPLASH, FUCKING SPLASH, SLAP
SPLASH SPLASH, JAPANESE!

- - - --

are we all clear on the fact that i'm getting a little cabin fever?
 
     

6 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
   
04:26pm 16/02/2005
 
mood: AHHHHGGGH! GAHH!
once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Nick. he lived in the evil dark fortress, The Castle Infotrack Inc, that was ruled over by a ill tempered man with little geriatric bosoms, he was known only as King Gunner. the king's toadie was a man named The Duke of Rhodes and he was born with fingers not unlike the sausages that were made throughout the Rhine. eventually the castle was sold to a company out of Delaware and never heard from again. Princess Nick married young and died of a fudge overdose at the age of 39, a young asian boy-prince named Jamal, his only heiress.

the end

...or is it!?
 
     

3 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
the reverse dolphin   
07:37pm 15/02/2005
  i've been reading Steinbeck lately, because my father thinks that reading his books are the only way to really understand human darkness. i've never encountered anything so bleak. i finished East Of Eden last night, and now all i want to do is put on a black veil and break all my light bulbs.

- - - -

i have a new group to play with. It's Johnny and this older guy, name a Gabriel. the two songs we have sound like kyuss if kyuss were a bunch of dorks.
still looking for a drummer to play with me and Andrew.

- - - -

still workin' for the weekend. and then, once the weekend has arrived, i work during the weekend.
 
     

2 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
   
07:35pm 01/02/2005
  i won't bore anyone with the details.

Read more...Collapse )
 
     

6 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
haiku-off.   
01:44pm 25/01/2005
  boredom sets in. out come the weekly haiku competitions.

Jamal:

Unsuspecting Nick
confusing feelings arise
that chick has a dick

Nick:
sweet sweet heroin
dance with me in the void
oh shit, i must puke

- - -

Jamal didn't enter one in last weeks competition, so i win by forfeit.

Stormy sex Hoe-down
with glistening thigh steaks, mmm
Oh! what a butt plug!

- - -

you are all invited to join in.
 
     

open up and say "aaah!"

 
oh yeah.   
01:23pm 20/01/2005
  i got the T-bird and its beautiful.

it's a wild boar with an engine full of blood, and nothing but disrespect for the speed limit.

i named it Prince Charles.
 
     

5 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
Doom-Locust Bank INC as trustee, under the provisions of a trust.   
03:23pm 11/01/2005
  i've been sneezing alot today, and just at the height of my largest sneeze at around 3:10 cst the window in the conference room completely shattered, scaring the living shit out of everyone in the office.

coincidence?

eh?
 
     

4 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
my metal is non-false: 2001 or 2002   
03:00pm 27/12/2004
  i think it was around this time of year that we all congregated at Matt Harvey's house and had a monster jam in his living room. Kevin screamed so hard that he got a bloody nose, and i yelled about sex-vampires, blew all the blood vessels in my forehead, and put a whole in the kitchen wall.

- - - --
 
     

2 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
swank.   
01:13pm 20/12/2004
  The Northside Bar and Grill had its annual christmas party this weekend. it was a lot of wicked fun involving me eating a ton of spinach thingies with feta, quesadillas, brie, and cake. and drinking god knows what and god knows how much of it. all i remember is russian vodka and pickles with Vadim, Makers Mark with Mike and Jerry, Woodchuck cider with DJ Jazzy Jeffrey, and Miller with Goremansteins Monster. i am very hungover.

we got our bonuses too, a hundred bucks and an insane gift bag including a bottle of Absolute, a bottle of Patron tequila, a tin box of fancy shortbread cookies, various seasonal candies, two DVDs (the greatest hits of Gumby, and some Ozzie and Harriet), and a Ninja Action figure with blonde hair and blue eyes.

i made out like some kind of an awesome bandit.

but this morning my booze-ravaged body got it's comeupance. that is to say, things came up. oh, zing.

time to zone out more.
 
     

2 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
4/ 1/ 4/ 1/ 4/ E# ROCK... yeah, okay.   
05:27pm 13/12/2004
  SONG TITLE LIST:

DRAIN THE WIZARD
FOR SHE'S A TIGHT-FISTED WIDOW
THORNADO PLUS
TIME TRAVELING RACECAR DRIVER
THRASHOLA
HUN ATTACK
MAN VS SPORTS
LET THE GOOD TIMES EXPLODE
GUT SHOT HIGH
I RODE THE LIGHTNING, I MASTERED THE PUPPETS

- - --
John Deerblood continues to thrive. we have two unnamed songs in the can, hence the above list, thats what i'm bringing to the table next weekend. one i wrote the head for, but like the least which has a seventies rock feel to it, it has a lot of masturbatory fretplay, and brendans drums are awesome on it, but it just feels kind of Doofy with a capital "D".

the other song is more avant-rock or possibly slint-esque, but with a big feel-good rockin' payoff riff for the outro which i had written/fleshed out fully a couple hours beforehand. it needs a ton of work, but it sounds the best to me so far. lots of bass chords, double kick, and a big speedy crescendo. i want to push the stuff into more of a weird realm. where its sort of one part chicago style mathrock and one part DC hardcore. AHH but i'm boring you. i have a tape of the two songs, if anybody wants to give it a listen and tell me what they think, give me a jingle.

- - -

AN ANECDOTE ABOUT COMMERCE IN THE CITY OF CHICAGO:

on the way to practice, brendan and i were super hung over so we stopped to get some juice and muffins at a gas station. outside there was the standard guy yelling at you to buy stuff from him. now its normally cheaply made sneakers, mix tapes, Sean John t-shirts, or cd players. this time, this guy was all like "big man! you wanna buy some socks?!" and then he showed me a duffel bag full of socks. i said no thanks dude, then he said "how about some hardcore porno?!... or some belts?!". socks, belts and porn. all the things you need in life to be happy. we declined and went inside to get our snacks. then when i came out, i thought better of it, and bought a 6 pack of most likely stolen black socks for 5 bucks. what a savings.
 
     

8 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
"because he's a big pants-wetting christian, too"   
06:58pm 08/12/2004
  FOUR NAMES YOU GO BY:
a. Nick
b. The Nick-Man
c. Field Marshall Erwin Rommel
d. Inky

FOUR THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
a. wittiness
b. general friendliness
c. my ability to disarm people
d. my large wrists

FOUR THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
a. weight
b. slight temper
c. emotionally impulsive
d. lazy

FOUR PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
a. french
b. english
c. scottish
d. tahitian (no shit)

FOUR FAVORITE HANGOUTS:
a. my apartment
b. tony ray's apartment
c. the Northside
d. the Mutiny

FOUR BEST FRIENDS:
a. Ray
b. Jamal
c. my brother
d. i also have a friend in Jesus

FOUR THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
a. bills
b. hard work
c. doctors
d. extremely tall people

FOUR THINGS YOU HATE IN GENERAL:
a. apathy
b. traffic
c. people who lead seemingly charmed lives
d. the smell of cooked fish

FOUR OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
a. jeff svehla
b. a bass
c. conan o'brien
d. a nice big dose of Vitamin Bible

FOUR THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
a. black sweatshirt
b. faded grey jeans
c. black chuck taylors
d. He Who Corrupts t-shirt

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS AT THE MOMENT:
a. Sugar
b. 31 Knots
c. Shotmaker
d. Del Rey


FOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
a. jumbalaya
b. chedder cheese
c. green peppers
d. any greek/lebonese food

FOUR THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
a. comfort
b. trust
c. in-jokes out the yin-yang
d. the occasional wrestling match

FOUR THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
a. sense of humor/wit
b. hair
c. talent
d. physical strength. i only date girls that can rip the yellow pages in half.

FOUR THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
a. sleep the whole night without waking up
b. trem-pick
c. organize
d. keep it real

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
a. music
b. writing
c. obsessivly renting/seeing movies in the theatre
d. reading

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
a. another cat
b. to have my car die for good
c. to move out of edgewater
d. a rocket car

FOUR CAREERS YOU'D LIKE:
a. teacher
b. bookstore owner
c. writer
d. A and R man


FOUR PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
a. japan
b. england
c. L.A.
d. Toronto

FOUR THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
a. write something worthwhile
b. get married and have kickass awesome kids
c. put out a few really good records
d. strangle a unicorn
 
     

8 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
torture worship   
03:31pm 07/12/2004
  last night, i took the L downtown to see the LaSalle Bank building burn. from my vantage point, the ring of fire was huge even though it was 30 stories up. it reminded me of the P.O.V. shots in Ghostbusters of the Zul battle scene. if only it were that awesome.

i also saw Craig Wall from fox news chicago out there, he was broadcasting in the middle of a dinner break i guess- "of the 25 injured, 18 were firefighters BLAH BLAH", if the camera would have panned down, it would have seen a half eaten quarter pounder with cheese in his left hand.

the trains were packed at two a.m. and everyone was screaming theories at eachother.
 
     

open up and say "aaah!"

 
i am a time-traveling race car driver   
06:39pm 01/12/2004
  fellow office drones are coming down on me for not wanting to go to the end-of-year "holiday party". about five or six people so far. why is it so shocking to people that i don't like our management team, i have to fake shmooz with them all day, i don't want to do it on my day off. no amount of free watered down drinks, or chicken marsala will change my mind. and all that coupled with another situation [EDITED] that would surely bring unbridled akwardness to the table along with the rolls and pats of butter shaped like flowers. fuck the world.

winter is already making me crazy. and its only shown its face twice.

- - - - - - -

i need to go out for drinks soon. someone give me a call this weekend, i'll chat your fucking ears off, i swear.

- - - - - - -
 
     

3 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
"i'll be your safety belt! ...   
04:52pm 26/11/2004
  ... CLICK!"






yeah. what a useless day.
 
     

1 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"

 
WHY DO I DO ANYTHING?   
04:44pm 22/11/2004
  ...why do i wear cow suits to french weddings?

...why do my homework in the dark, and eat my cereal with a fork?

- - - - - -

acquisitions -- i spelled that wrong

Chavez - Ride The Fader
Hammerhead - Duh, The Big City
Don Caballero - Singles Breaking Up, Volume 1
Del Rey - Darkness and Distance
Frodus - And We Washed Our Weapons In The Sea

i'm so cool, i hit my shadow up for milk money.

- - -- - -

JOHN DEERBLOOD has finished its very first song. it was originally named "4/4/4/4/4/5/4/4/1/4" but that was goofy. so now its just "FOUR FOUR!".
its awesome. we are going to melt faces.

we have a couple others that are just skeletons so far, but they're tentatively titled "I Rode The Lightning, I mastered The Puppets", "For She's A Tight-Fisted Widow", and "Time Flys When You Weigh A Ton".
 
     

open up and say "aaah!"

 
a glass with whiskey and ice, hold the eggs.   
06:31pm 15/11/2004
  on friday, i actually got really drunk. i don't like it when that happens. but this time it was okay, because mike lopez and i gave Gabe Ransenberg an ATOMIC MELVIN. he was onstage singing and being a spaz, so mike-man and i just ran up to him, grabbed the front of his undies and yanked. the resulting scream/tearing noise was well worth the attack we recieved soon after. gabriel jumped on my back and tried to give me a wedgie, but i'm a ninja so i rolled on top of him. then he tickled me and crammed his tongue in my face. when it was over and the next song had started, Gabe had what appeared to be a mini-skirt on, but it was just the torn top half of his briefs. my god, it was funny.

i don't remember much of the rest of the evening.
 
     

2 cancerous tongue - open up and say "aaah!"